.
Friday, February 06, 2009
@10:47 AM
heyhey!
im sorry every1 tt i look so tired..
im actually very tired..
with sch & stuffs
haha but hiding from everyone.
& my eyebags/mood gets worser.
i just feel so lost..confused..
any1 feel like talking to me feel free..
but i cant guarantee u tt i mite get "pissed off"
when u ask me qtns cos im mite get moody at that pt of time..
lol i need some1 to guide me out..
cos im lost..seriously..
i feel so positive and negative every split second..
to my frens dont get worried when u see this emo shit..
to my best frens/buddies sorry i got u all worried..
im typing all this is to hope tt you whoever read this can help me
(telling me ur views..so tt i can see differently & compare where i have gone wrong)
im just Searching for answers hoping that some1 can enlighten me..
cos some of u know de condition of mine..pls tell me wad should i do
those who felt this b4..tell me ur views..
i wan "u" to guide me out too..i know u are busy..tts y i dont wad u to worry abt me..
but talk to me..make me feel better..if not i dunno when im coming out of my shell..
dont leave me alone..its been long since we talk..i need to see ur views
i know you are stronger than me..pull me up again..
i look at ning post
"When I think about it, it's the same as life isn't it?
Taking the things for granted and when they ain't there anymore, there will be a sense of emptiness. Even though certain things are irritating, but it's still feels weird when it's not there."
and i saw ting post
"I'll probably dread of outings ever since the last one. Although everything turned out fine but I feel that something important is missing between all of us. It's just like how the song goes, "Sometimes I feel like everybody's got a problem, sometimes I feel like nobody wants to solve them.." If this is how things should be, I'm more or less losing the trust."
at gly post
"It was really difficult to watch someone you care for leaving you. So learn to treasure them. Take more pictures with them. Look after them. pamper them. For me i could no longer have a chance to do so. May the lord be with you. When i went home it was like after a war. I was totally sloshed out. ... Everything is back to normal so i guess i should be like normal. I now know the feeling so i will learn to treasure my parents and sibling more even though what happened. For its once in a lifetime to get to be in the same family. "
i guess my frens are also having a hard time..
every1 have a different story..but in the end we are all still the same.
i want to treasure everything i have now..i want to move on..
i guess you make my thinking changed greatly..
i guess the lord what to teach me a lesson..
i think my family is most important now.
i cant bear to see my family look at me like im super tired or something is wrong with me..
i know those who show concern..i want to change my thinking..
i know im not perfect....
to those who wonder abt wad all tis is abt..
i dont tink u wanna know..
so treat it like u never see this..
i will only open up to those whom i tink can help..
i duno if tis is de darkest hr of my life..
cos i do sometimes feel like i dun hav de strength to carry on..
exams are around..i dont wan to lose hrt such tt i hav no mood to study..
I WANT TO BE POSITIVE!
even tho now i feel like i have no mood to do aniting..
but im just tryin to be strong..
i wan to be the jocelyn whom u all know..
the joyful jocelyn.. :) smiling
i keeping editing this post..reading & changin or adding stuff
i know its difficult..
i took long to type this post too..
so dont worry..i will walk out soon..
DON'T WORRY ALL!!!
im still wondering what should i study next time..
whether i should work or continue study..
i look around all my frens..
they already have an idea of what they want to do..
i don't want to rot out..
i need a goal..
i need to know what interest me..
i wonder if i should change the anything also can jocelyn..
(i know some of my frens dont like it..esp him..)
i want to be decisive and be confident..
i want to stand up again..
i dont want to get you angry with me again..
i think i just want to be friends with you for now..
to start all over again..
i want to start my life back again..
if i were to choose back my road..
i dont mind choosing the same route..
but to treasure all i got and to change the things i have done wrong..
becos i never regret choosing you..
it took me 2 hours to finish edit this post..
cos i publish, read and edit agn..
(u can see the different emotions im going thru)
i think thats all i want to write about..
i want to feel refresh again..
i think GOD is giving me a second chance..
may the Lord bless me..and to you all too..
to choose correctly the path you are choosing..
cos once its over it may never be back..
to treasure all your love ones..
i truly believe in fate..but i never grab hold of it
until when i lost it then i really regret..
cos i dont even know how i feel abt this r/s
what am i feeling upset abt?
i want to get answers..
im curious about life
my word is "why?"
You see life as complicated and intriguing. The only thing you know for sure is that you haven't figured it all out yet. (ya i haven't figure out things yet)
You question everything and believe very little. And whatever you believe is likely to change.
You are interested in theories, philosophies, and religions... even if you don't buy into any of them.
You are also fascinated by how things work. You'd like to understand as much in the world as possible.
thats why i like learning new things..i want to know the world..
im thinking about psychology..
people behaviour..
but i dont think i want to study that..
it may just be an interest like photography..
what i wanna be in the future?
im thinking about that..
i look at the show ch 8 9pm
DREAMcatchers.. 未来不是dream
(lol i cant rmb how to spell dream in chi)
what it mean by the future is not a dream?
i think im directly translating thats why i dont understand..
oops..i think i change this post too many times..
keep on adding things..haha..
you see my mood change so drastically..
dam it..lol
ciaos..cheer up!! im not defeated!!
so many songs going thru me too..
"Everytime-A1","Be strong-deltagoodrem","Scream"
and many more..
=D looking forward to the future :)
i want my life to be colourful again!!
i love rainbows and many colours!!
purple&orange:)
not just black and white!
